At the very least you have to admit that I had a solid grasp on anapestic tetrameter.
There's no comparable feeling like that of receiving a picture message from your mother captioned 'hey look what I found in your room!'
That wasn't the actual caption but, since my newly empty nester parents are vamping up the house in our absence, the caption was in the subtext.
Fortunately, what my mother found was something that I can capitalize off of: edgy teenage poetry.
I wrote this poetry in the tenth grade for an assignment on odes for Ms. Gerner's (now Ms. Bove) tenth grade English (not honors) class.
It should be noted that at this point in my life I had a lot of acne and was mildly distraught over the stretch marks I had on my back.
It should also be noted that after sneaking in a few swear words in my first ode "Ode to Adolescence" I received praise on the poem, thus leading me to carbon copy the concept for the rest of the poems.
Anyway, in the spirit of the 'roast yourself challenge' and my continuous road to self-improvement, let's look at some edgy poems.
(some light punctuation, spelling, and line edits have been made)
Preface to this next poem:
1) There's nothing edgier than staring out a window at the rain; wowowowow.
2) My freshman year I was in honors math, and this year I had decided to take it easy and take regular level math, and little pretentious Colin was not ready for the the experience. I had a hard time understanding that there were people that existed that didn't spend every second of their time trying to be bookworms.
Preface to this last poem:
The WKCE is the Wisconsin Knowledge and Concepts Examination, a standardized test that students take every couple years that is long, exhausting, and completely takes over your school day for like a week.