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UNSOLICITED THOUGHTS

an ongoing series of essays, reviews, and general buffoonery by Colin Kohrs

9 Great Names For Your Gay Friend

2/28/2018

4 Comments

 
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Excuse me? Did I hear you just you use the term "GBF"? Really? That is appalling. You should be ashamed of yourself; that term is far outdated. As 2015 turns into 2016, you need a modern name for your modern gay. I present to you today: nine great nicknames for your gay friend, the official list for naming your gay. Take notes.

1. Pal

Pal has been a long-time favorite among many, with uses tracing back to the year 1770. A classic.
​

2. Buddy

Sometimes your gay friend just feels like a “Buddy.” Another solid nickname.
​

​3. Cap or Captain

This is a bold choice for your gay friend. Understand that this nickname might lead them to believe that they have some form of executive power over you. Not a good choice for your egotistic gays. Good choice for your seafaring gays.
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4. Homegirl

​Traditionally a gendered term, this nickname can be used for any of your gay friends male, female, and beyond. Warning: typically only works effectively if said with high energy; this nickname is not for the faint of heart.
​

5. [“First initial” + “-” + “preferred object pronoun”]

This formula has an overwhelming number of possibilities for your gay. From Cynthia you can get C-Swizzle or C-Dawg; from Larry, L-Man or L-McCoolio. Get creative!

6. Frank

This works best if your gay friend is named Frank. Could also be humorous if not. Ultimately your decision. Do they look like a Frank?

7. Susan

See “Frank.”

​8. You

This nickname is best used in situations where you have forgotten your gay friend’s name. Use sparingly and consider a second nickname with which to pair.

9. His Excellency: President George Washington

Does your gay friend wear a lot of white wigs? Do you have any urban legends about their dentures? Have they served as the President of the United States for one or more terms? Take this nickname into consideration.


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(This article originally appeared on Odyssey on December 22nd, 2015 back when I wrote for that tragedy)
4 Comments
Izzie
3/23/2018 07:36:56 pm

Can I use "trash"?

Reply
yes
5/8/2021 07:48:05 pm

sure

Reply
yes
5/8/2021 07:48:44 pm

no it was a joke

Charlie
11/1/2021 06:46:08 pm

a gay person definetly made this

Reply



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