Friends, this is Wisconsin ... They should have driven the damn truck.
This story ends on February 20th, 2019 at 8:13PM after eight minutes on the phone navigating the 1-800 FedEx robot trying to speak with a human, only to discover that the FedEx humans went home 13 minutes prior. This story begins February 18th, around 3:00PM when I discovered I’d received my tax return. Let’s start there.
I had an appointment at my new favorite store to get bras after receiving a gift card for Valentine’s Day to said store. Bras there are pretty spendy (but so worth it!), and while I knew my gift card would cover one bra, I wanted to see where my funds were to determine if getting two might be in the cards for me. It was then that I realized I had about twice as much money in my account as I was used to because my tax return was about the same amount as a regular paycheck. After stowing much of that amount in my savings, I drove off to my appointment armed with the knowledge that I could easily afford two bras… and maybe even treat myself to a third, or a swimsuit if I wanted.
At the end of my appointment, I had found two bras I liked and wasn’t thrilled with any of their swimwear. It was fine, and it was supportive… it just wasn’t my style. But I was now armed with the information of what brand fit me the best, and an accurate bra size. Surely I was a quick Google search away from my new favorite swimsuit top. Which I would need by… Wednesday, February 20th. Thursday February 21st was the day my boyfriend and I were leaving for a joint celebration of Valentine’s Day and my birthday in the Wisconsin Dells at an indoor waterpark.
I found a swimsuit I liked in my size, and it was cheaper than I was anticipating. Win win! Regular shipping wouldn’t guarantee that I have it for my trip… two-day shipping was also going to be a risk. So I decided to pay the difference of the price I was expecting to pay for the swimsuit as a whole… on overnight shipping. It was to arrive by February 20th. Perfect.
A few times over the course of my work day, I checked in on the shipping tracker from my phone. Where was it… had it gone out yet? Had it arrived? Would it be in my mailbox, or at the office? I was perplexed when the notification didn’t go beyond “9:21AM, out for delivery.” When I arrived at the office to pick up a separate package that had been delivered for my boyfriend, I was surprised there weren’t two packages. So I figured mine was small enough to fit into the mailbox. Checked the mailbox… no package.
So I stewed a little, but figured this is FedEx. It could arrive as late as 8:00PM. And it was only 4:00PM. So I’d wait.
After I finished eating dinner, at about 6:30PM, I went down to check again. Now I’m getting worried. What if they’d arrived; no one was home, and they’d taken the package back to their shipping? But wouldn’t the tracker have reflected that? So I tried calling up FedEx… that 1-800 number. It took about ten minutes before I finally reached a human. I explained what was going on, and they called the shipping location in Madison to find out what happened.
And they came back with: It was delayed for weather.
Friends, this is Wisconsin. In the last couple of weeks, winter has slammed our piece of the world. We had six school closures in three weeks. Schools have extended the end of their school day to account for lost educational minutes. But today? We had school. Today? The roads were fine. Today? They should have driven the damn truck.
Would I like to pick up my package at their facility this evening? They could hold it for me.
Seething, and speaking through my teeth I told them that I would, indeed, pick up my package that evening.
Now, I am a reasonable person. I understand when the weather is bad. But today, the weather was not bad. And I wanted a refund. I didn’t even need the entire shipping refunded; I was prepared to ask for the difference in amounts charged for overnight (which I paid) and 2-day shipping (which would have been long it took, if it was delivered on the 21st). So I signed my name on the electronic pad, but before I hit “done,” I look up at the man across from the counter and assertively ask that my shipping be refunded.
There was a bit of back and forth where he kept telling me to call the 1-800 number, and I asserted my frustrations that the roads were fine today; why didn’t the trucks deliver today… and I leave with the full intention to call the 1-800 number.
So I got home and called the 1-800 number. I just wanted to speak to a human, but that FedEx robot is bound and determined to solve your problem on its own. By the time I got to the place where I’d get a human… I discovered that I should have called earlier. They’d all gone home.
At least I have my package, and the knowledge of when they open in the morning.