Hasan Minhaj Has A Netflix Show Now, So Why Won't He Respond To My Requests For A Lock Of His Hair

NEW YORK CITY--News sources reported in early March that Netflix has bought 32 episodes of content from California-raised comedian and very beautiful man, Hasan Minhaj who won't respond to my requests for a lock of his hair.

Minhaj, who acts as a correspondant on The Daily Show, will be the first Indian-American to front a weekly comedy show and a regular disappointment as he refuses to return my correspondence by post, fax, phone, and email asking for a lock of that luscious, luscious hair.

"I'm thrilled to be joining the Netflix family as the country braces for another election season — and like you, I cannot wait to find out who Putin picks this time," Minhaj said, neglecting to mention anything about the many letters, hand written and printed, that I have sent to him, his agent, and his family members. 

"I've been a big fan of [the beauty, talent, and hair of] Hasan's for many years," said Netflix's vp content Bela Bajaria, who has also ignored me and recently blocked me on Twitter. "He's a phenomenal writer with a distinct point of view [and] he is a brilliant performer, who is hilarious both onstage and off. And more importantly, he isn't afraid to share his thoughtful voice and unique perspective."

Minhaj and his beautiful head of hair will act as executive producer and host of the series with co-creator and executive producer Prashanth Venkataramanujam, Art & Industry's Michelle Caputo and Shannon Hartman, as well as Haven's Jennie Church-Cooper will also earn exec producer credits on the series. 

Sources confirmed Friday that I have a plane ticket to New York, a pair of scissors, and a dream.