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UNSOLICITED THOUGHTS

an ongoing series of essays, reviews, and general buffoonery by Colin Kohrs

The 5 Kinds Of Dishwasher Sounds

7/19/2018

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Dish hygiene is important.
Dishwashers are pretty cool. They wash our dishes fairly well and rarely put up a fight. When the are in the process of washing, their motions create a distinctive beat depending on what part of the cycle they are in. After sitting on my floor and listening to my dishwasher for a full cycle, I believe I can now state with confidence the 5 kinds of dishwasher sounds.

1. SQUISH-SQUASH SQUISH-SQUASH

This is the most common sound that comes from my dish washing machine. Two distinct sounds alternate in equal stresses like a spondee.

​2. ka-DUNK-uh-dunk ka-DUNK-uh-dunk

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I believe this is the second cycle that my dishwasher makes. It occurs between two repetitions of style #1, and goes on for a considerable time. It is comprised of four beats, though on occasion the last two blend in together.

3. kada-ROOOOOOOOMM kada-ROOOOOOOOMM

This is a transitional sound that comes before #4 which comes before #1. The sound has nothing to do with the water in the machine, and I believe it's just the motor switching between cycles. It is one of the loudest of the sounds.

4. kuh-ROOOOOOOOOM kuh-ROOOOOOOOOM

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#3 gets increasingly quick, and the distinct "kada" blurs into a one syllable "kuh." After that, the dishwasher goes into style #1 again

5. wica-WAH wica-WAHAs ​

#1 slows down when the cycle is ending, it gives way #5, which is very similar. The time of the repetition remains the same, but the "squish" is dissected into the "wica" and the "squash" sounds less squashy.
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