To The Tenant Who Stole My Laundry Detergent: A Poem

Based on a true story.

To The Tenant Who Stole My Laundry Detergent
DETERGENT THIEF DETERGENT THIEF
YOU STOLE MY TIDE YOU DIRTY THIEF
THAT SOAP WAS MINE YOU FILTHY THIEF
WHY DID YOU STEAL FROM ME, YOU THIEF

YOU COULD HAVE BORROWED JUST A BIT
INSTEAD OF STEALING ALL OF IT
YOU'VE PUT ME IN AN ANGRY FIT
DETERGENT STEALING LITTLE SHIT

I WENT TO TARGET AND I GOT
DETERGENT AND A FUCKING LOCK
I HOPE SOMEBODY STEALS YOUR SOCKS
I HOPE YOUR DIRTY LAUNDRY ROTS

DON'T EVER STEAL FROM ME AGAIN
DON'T EVER STEAL FROM ME AGAIN
DON'T EVER STEAL FROM ME AGAIN
DETERGENT THIEF YOU SUCK, AMEN

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