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UNSOLICITED THOUGHTS

an ongoing series of essays, reviews, and general buffoonery by Colin Kohrs

Top 5 Songs For Washing Your Pug

7/6/2018

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Pugs! We all love pugs! Well, not actually, lots of people are allergic to dogs, hate dogs on principal, or have strong opinions about selective breeding and that thing where pugs' eyes will just randomly pop out.
But! Regardless, I think we can all agree on one thing: all pugs should be washed.

Frankly, most animals in general should be washed, but pugs shouldn't be left out. The deserve the squeaky clean privilege of a good bubbly bath every now and then just like the rest of us. 

Yet, there's one problem that I'm sure many of you have come across in your time washing pugs, what song do you listen to during the washing?  Well I am here today to give you a top five list of songs that you can listen to while washing your pug to make the experience not only cleanly but also entertaining.

5. "Only Time" -Enya

Many pugs experience cleaning-related anxieties. Maybe they weren't raised around water. Maybe they're self conscious about their hygiene. Maybe they're just generally hydrophobic. Either way, one good method to calm your pug and ensure a quality washing experience is to play a bit of Enya! "Only Time" is a perfect choice. It's slower and calming, like many Enya songs, and the lyrics even reference water. It's not as literal as "Orinoco Flow" might be, but not so far divorced from the topic of bathing as "Tempus Vernum," might come across. "Only Time" is a great middle-ground and solid choice for when you have to wash that pug.

4. "Shut Up And Drive" -Rhianna

Maybe the Enya isn't working for your pug. There's a chance that brute commandment and escapism may help. "Shut Up And Drive" does a good job of commanding your pug to shut up any washing-induced crying, and to think about driving. Everyone knows that dogs, pugs included, love to go on car rides. This song will have your pug forgetting all about the tub and thinking only about the sweet sweet road.

3. "How Far I'll Go" -Auli'i Cravalho, from the Moana â€‹soundtrack

Maybe your pug isn't afraid of the water. Maybe your pug yearns for that water like Moana's yearning for adventure in the outside world in Disney's Moana. In that case, "How Far I'll Go" is the perfect choice for rub-a-dub-dub time with your pug. This hit number has nearly 350 million views on YouTube. Now that's a lot of bath times.

2. "All The Rage" -Allie X

I think it's a well known fact that all pugs like a good retro-vibe power ballad. So yeah, "All The Rage" by Allie X will have your pug and anyone in the room wagging their tail all bath long. Warning: can result in splashing and a good ol' time.

1. "Pugwash" -Christopher John

Yup.
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