Why He's Not Worth Dating If He Doesn't Have A 'Bloons Tower Defense Battles' Win Percentage Of At Least 50 Percent

This is a message for all my readers out there who date men and play 'Bloons Tower Defense Battles' on a regular and unhealthy basis. 

​You deserve better.

Regardless of whether you enter the dating scene wearing rose-colored glasses or your heart bloons on your sleeve (Regrowth Bloons as they're called in the game), dating is a challenge for most singles.

Dating usually requires an investment of time you could be playing TD Battles, money and emotional commitment. You’re not asking for much. You simply want an equitable return on your investment, and you want a happy ending. Look for signs early in the relationship that signal when a man doesn’t merit your time or attention, like if he doesn't have at least a 50 percent win percentage. Like seriously, it's not that hard to up your stats.

He may seem nice at first, he may even have purchased the full version of Bloon's Tower Defense Battles from the Apple Store, but then you start to see the signs.

Maybe he's a great communicator, but also he only has Battles on his iPhone, and he doesn't have it on his laptop through Steam. Maybe he goes a few days without messaging you. Maybe he bought the game to impress you but he actually only plays it like 2-3 hours like a total newb

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Maybe his friends aren't mean to you, but you don't seem to really get along. Maybe he doesn't understand the importance of getting a Monkey Tower that can shoot down CamoBloons before you get a Monkey Tower that can shoot down MetalBloons because that's the order they spawn in assault mode.

Maybe you can learn to live with those, but so help you god if he is a man-child sporting a 39 percent, you need to drop him like a low-tier Cobra Monkey that isn't providing enough Eco to warrant the real-estate on your map. Like maybe throw a Bloonjitsu Monkey in there instead.

Understand what you're worth and get that in the world. Don't settle for anything less. Not even like 49 percent. Shoot for 60. I had a friend once date a guy with 75 percent.

​A friend from college said she was with a guy who was at like 90 but she's either lying or he was definitely a hacker.